The Untold Story of Theseus
The road ran along the edge of the cliff above the burning blue sea. Theseus turned a
bend in the road and saw a man sitting on a rock. The man held a great battle-ax in his
hand; he was so large that the ax seemed like a hatchet.
Before the enormous man could say a thing, a thunderous voice shook the cliffs. The
projected voice was heard to say, "Bumble Bee Tuna, Look to la Luna." Suddenly, Theseus
disappeared in a flash of blue light.
This is all I can tell you for I know no more. You shall have to ask the spirit of
Theseus to continue...
The Traveling
(The spirit of Theseus Speaks)
"I found myself in a dark place void of any light. I spent very little time in this
manner. The dark place was soon illuminated by two men with fire sticks, that gave white
light in stead of yellow."
"These men that shone their fire sticks at me were dressed strangely; all in blue. They
spoke in an unfamiliar tong and shoved myself into what I could only describe at the time
as a horseless chariot."
"After many days there slow minds concluded that I was a stranger in this land, and sent
me to this house with many other young men my age."
(Time Pasa)
"Many moons have passed. Over this time I was taught their language and concepts. I
found that they call themselves Americans, more specifically "Michiganders". I have
always been quick to learn and they labeled me as an adequate student. Me. Theseus. Son
of Poseidon. Labeled as adequate? Sheeeshh. Anyway, I was told that tomorrow I would be
going to a "High School", specificly, Nth grade."
High School
"High school was all fun and games until 6th hour. This class, called EXPLORE or some
other silly word like that, was tought by an English teacher called by Mrs. Grumpp. Mrs.
Grumpp had the honor of being named the most evil teacher in East Bloomfield. She was a
short stocky woman, with pale gray hair, and a face like a prune. :-{ Always with her
was an evil spyglass, which allowed her to see every weakness of her enemy, the students.
This spyglass could not work on me, for I am the son of a god."
"Since she could not find, for me, any weakness, she relented to assinging many hours of
grueling homestudy every night. This continued untill the time when many classmates gave
up and failed to turn in any work at all."
"I could see that my classmates were suffering from this work, so I devised a plan. I
told all my classmates to do all the work assinged and in the greatest length possible.
I told them also to spare even the use of any contractions to shorten it."
"
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