A long time ago, way back in the 1950's, there was a cold, icy creature known as the
"fifties father." He rarely displayed affection, and he hid most of his feelings behind
the newspaper. Most of the child-rearing duties were left to mom. We can kiss those
days good-bye! In Western cultures there is an increasing number of men who are
extremely active in all stages of raising their children. The old "fifties father" is
now becoming the "nineties nanny."
These modern "superdads", as we call them, have to manage the tough job of raising
children and supporting them financially. Men have to fo this without the help of a
previous role model in a past generation to model themselves after. Not having a role
model makes being a superdad tougher than being a single mom. It leads to the creation
of a "superdad syndrome."
Superdad syndrome stems from the fact that boys growing up have very little practice at
homemaking. Boys who play with dolls are considered weirdos while girls who play with
dolls and participate in sports are trained for anything. Men can do a great job raising
their children and providing basic needs, support, and love, but a man can never be a
mother. A good example of this is Joel Chaken from New York City. He quit his job as an
engineer to stay at home with his baby. His wife was an attorney. After a while he felt
isolated at home all the time, and ne wanted to join a support group for new mothers who
felt the same way. He was kicked out because he was not a mom, he was a superdad. Men
need support groups of their own, for fathers.
Even though there is an increasing number of dads taking care of their children, the
court system rarely gives full custody to fathers. When superdads get custody of their
children, they find it very rewarding to get closer to their kids. They also feel a
sense of nobility. Many people look at single fathers with greater respect than single
mothers. Fathers are seen as "superheroes." One such superhero dad is Rudy Szabo of
Cleveland, Ohio. When his wife left, he quit his job as supervisor ar BEK Industries to
stay at home with his two sets of young twins. He changed 72 diapers and mixed 30
bottles of formula every day, all while getting by on $500 per month. Rudy truly
classifies as a superdad according to psychologist Stuart Fischoff. He says, "Superdads
are men who sacrifice and structure their lives around parenting." More and more, now
numbering nearly 250,000, superdads are making these changes and sacrifices. They are
learning every day and doing it all on their own.
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