In communication between men and women, the two genders always communicate differently.
Traditionally men communicate facts directly and are less likely to discuss details that
have little to do with the conversation. Women traditionally are more careful about what
they say and seek to build relationships by the way they communicate. These two forms of
communication, direct (traditional male) and indirect (traditional female), are
consistent throughout most cultures. There are cases where the men communicate
indirectly and the women directly but not where both the genders communicate in the same
way. (Lakoff 627) If the two genders do communicate in the same way, there is bound to
be serious conflict that usually involves violence.
The movie Thelma and Louise tells the story of two women who have run away from their
traditional roles as women. They have been put under too much pressure from society and
especially men. Both Thelma and Louise feel a need to change their position in society
and they do it by changing the way they communicate. This change in communication
between men and women causes the women to take on a stronger and more direct language
which also included robbery and murder. They change from the traditional female forms of
communication to a more masculine form of communication. Once they change, the men who
they come into contact with change the way they communicate as well, or they face serious
consequences. This demonstrates the fact that men and women are bound to communicate
differently. In the movie, Thelma and Louise react violently to men who communicate
directly to them after they have changed their form of communication. These violent
reactions are a result of the men breaking the cultural ideal that men and women are
bound to communicate differently.
At the beginning of the movie Thelma and Louise, Thelma and Louise were women who lived
lives of typical American women and communicated like one would expect a woman
communicate. They were concerned mainly about their relationships with men and tried not
to make them mad. However, they needed a break from their lives and the two women
decided to take a quick vacation. Their lives change when Thelma is raped by a man she
meets at a bar. When Louise shoots and kills the rapist, after he mocks them, they
change the way they communicate and act with other men. They can no longer afford to
seek or further emotional ties with men because they are forced to make quick and
decisive decisions. This creates a clear goal they must achieve, and that is to get to
Mexico to avoid being caught by the law. Once they have this clear and concise goal (a
trait that a man would have), they begin to communicate with men more directly. They are
less concerned with the emotional ties they have with men, and they become focused on a
single goal, which is leaving the country.
The two cases where Thelma and Louise cause serious pain and sorrow to men are the
result of men not understanding that Thelma and Louise have changed the way they
communicate. These cases are when the Thelma and Louise pull the truck driver over and
when Louise shoots the rapist. The only chance any man has to convince them of
something, was if a man communicated like a woman usually would. But since Thelma and
Louise have changed their communication style to a more direct style, they see the direct
form of communication towards them as a threat and act to eliminate that threat. In the
case of the rapist Harlen, he got caught in the cross over. Louise decided to
communicate very directly to the rapist which included shooting him in the heart. By
threatening to shoot him, it displays that she changed from an indirect form of
communication to a direct form of communication. Though violence is not generally
thought a form of communication, it conveyed the her feelings towards him very directly
and clearly. Harlen did not know that Louise had changed her form of communication and
preceded to communicate to her very directly by insulting her and using very obscene
language. When she changed the way she communicated, she felt compelled to shoot him.
If he would have changed his communication style to one which is more understanding and
concerned, he would have not been shot because Louise would have not felt threatened by
the him.
In the other case where a man does not recognize that Thelma and Louise have changed
their form of communication is when the two women pull the rude and obscene truck driver
over and blow up his truck. By this time in the movie, Thelma has obviously changed her
form of communication to the same style that Louise changed to. When they ask this old
truck driver to pull over, he is thinking that the two women are physically attracted to
him and that they will communicate like traditional women. Thelma and Louise are
obviously not, and are just planing to get some revenge on him. The truck driver
communicates with the two women throughout the movie. Every time they pass him on the
road, he makes many of totally un-called-for comments and gestures towards them. He does
not strive for any emotional connection to them like he would if he truly knew and
understood their style of communication. So when he is conned by Thelma and Louise to
pull over, they decided to blow up his truck and communicate the fact that they did not
appreciate the way that he treated them.
These two examples show that communication styles between men and women are different.
If they are not different, something bad is bound to happen. The two genders must have
different communication styles because they have learned through culturalization that men
and women communicate differently. There has been some kind of understanding or force
that keeps the two genders from communicating in the same way. Lakoff describes this
understood force as being "...some deep intrinsic physical and/ or psychological
distinction that irrevocably divides the sexes: The need for polarization is very
strong." It may not be consciously understood by all people, but it is subconsciously
understood by most since in nearly every culture, men and women are treated differently
from birth to the end of their lives (Lakoff 625-626).
When men did change their style of communication when they communicated with Thelma and
Louise they were more successful in communicating with them. With Thelma and Louise
communicating more directly, men could not communicate with them directly because this
would result in violent consequences. Most men in Thelma and Louise do change their
style when they communicate with them. Louise's boyfriend, Jimmy, changes his form of
communication fast and is basically used by the two women to help them escape Also there
is the Police officer, Hal, who is tracking down the Thelma and Louise who uses a more
indirect style in communicating with the two. Though the ultimate situation for these
two men turned out negatively, they were able to communicate better with Thelma and
Louise than the two men who communicated directly to them.
In the case of Hal, the FBI agent, he is forced by Thelma and Louise to communicate
indirectly because the two women are speaking directly to him. He switches over to the
indirect form as soon as he begins to communicate with Thelma and Louise. He appears too
be "soft" and to have some kind of emotional connection with Thelma and Louise. He
genuinely does not want anything to happen to them and seems to believe the two's story.
Hal has taken this case personally. One can see this in the concern on his face when he
speaks to the suspects on the phone and when he runs after them as they drive over the
cliff. He asks them "Can't we sit down and talk about it?" This sounds like something
a woman would say rather than a man would say, demonstrating that Hal has changed his
form over to a more feminine from of communication.
Louise's boyfriend, Jimmy, also takes a more indirect and feminine style of
communication with Thelma and especially Louise. He takes this feminine style to an
extreme by letting Thelma and Louise use him. He gives them money for their escape even
though he does not want them to go. He is trying anything to keep his connection with
Louise. Jimmy can communicate the best with Louise because he approaches her with this
feminine style. This is shown by the long conversations they have while they exchange
the money and the clear understanding they have about each other when they separate. He
even asks Louise to marry him while he is giving her the money. Jimmy shows a great need
for intimacy with his proposal and also he shows his feelings for Louise. This proposal
is the ultimate expression of connection with Louise and shows his emotional tie he has
to her. He is very open and shows his emotions in his body language, which are also
characteristics of traditional feminine communication (Lakoff 627).
The contrast that exists in communication between men and women is shown clearly in
Thelma and Louise. The movie shows what happens when the two genders communicate
similarly and differently. When they communicate differently their is a good
understanding of each other and a greater sense of connection between the two people
communicating; which was shown well by the FBI agent Hal and Louise's boyfriend Jimmy.
When a man and a woman communicated in the same way, there was conflict between the two.
This was illustrated well by the truck driver and the rapist Harlen and the conflicts
they had with Thelma and Louise; proving the point that men and women must communicate
differently.
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